Capture Your Grief : Days 1-3

October is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness month. For bereaved parents, this is a time to once again fight to break the taboo that surrounds child loss. Society seems to prefer it swept under the carpet, unwilling to face the discomforts of life and loss, but we are here, still loving our children and keeping their memories alive. We want the world to know our babies were here.

CarlyMarie has come up with a lovely way to share our journeys this month, by posting a different piece of our loss each day of October.

Yes, today is the 3rd and I am obviously behind. For Day 1, I have to say it's impossible for me. Getting up early enough to catch the sunrise just doesn't go along well with me not being a morning person. I wish I was!

Day 2: A before loss self-portrait

I was 23 weeks and 6 days pregnant with Avery in this photo. (We found out she was gone 10 days later.) Sometimes I just want to crawl into this photo and be this version of me for just another day.

Day 3: An after loss self-portrait

This is me in July of 2010, four months after losing Avery. Don't be too fooled by my smile. I was still a mess. But by this time, I'd finally come to the point where I wanted to heal and wanted to try being better for her. I wanted to live gracefully through it for her. I still do.