Avery was here

We never got a birth certificate or a death certificate when we lost Avery. I knew she didn't qualify for a birth certificate since she was not born alive, but a long while back, I did some research about death certificates. Surely, there had to be some documentation of a baby born still.

I found out that you can obtain a 'Birth resulting in stillbirth' certificate if you have a certified death certificate on file. Not all states follow this, unfortunately, but Florida does. I always hated that the only official proof Avery was here is her grave stone. So, a few months ago, I finally contacted the funeral home that took care of her to see what they could do for me.

I was very confused and dismayed to find that Avery doesn't qualify for a certified death certificate because she wasn't "old enough" when she died. She was past the point of viability if born early and she was also "old enough" to be considered a stillbirth instead of a miscarriage. She was delivered just like a living baby. Stupidly, and I guess as a defense mechanism, I didn't ask further questions. I gratefully accepted the favor of an uncertified death certificate for Avery. It came in the mail yesterday, two years and three months after we lost her. While it is horrifying to receive a death certificate with your child's name on it, it brings so much closure and peace somehow.

This probably doesn't help my case that Avery counts, but I don't need anyone to tell me she does. I carried life inside of me for 25 weeks. I gave birth to a very wanted, very loved baby girl with perfect hands and feet, a sweet little nose and precious lips, who looked just like her Daddy.

I don't care that this document isn't certified. It states that my daughter was born and that she died. It is in writing. Avery was here.