More appointments

Yesterday, I had two appointments. It was actually very nice to get two over with in one day, back to back. First was my OB. I was surprised to see that I have lost two pounds in the last two weeks. I never gained weight with Avery, in fact, I lost weight with her, so I always equate no weight gain with inadequate growth or an unhealthy baby. But then I need to remember, my belly is getting bigger. It didn't really at all with Avery. Jude is growing and he's a whole week ahead. Avery was always behind. To top it all off, I started out overweight so the weight gain expectancies don't fully apply to me. I talked to my doctor about it and she said that as long as I'm eating and the baby is growing, it doesn't matter if I'm losing or gaining. That makes me feel better.

I asked my doctor about Jude's delivery. If I would carry him until my due date or not. She said because he is doing so well, she would like to try getting to my due date, but definitely no further. But she doesn't want to deliver him before 39 weeks because of brain and lung development. She said I'll be having ultrasounds (biophysical profiles) and non stress tests probably twice a week at the end. If there seems to be any sign of a problem, he will be delivered. But if not, he'll come between 39 and 40 weeks. I am glad that he's doing well enough that my doctor wants to let him stay as long as possible. When I first lost Avery, there was talk of steroid injections to develop the next baby's lungs faster so he or she could be born as early as possible to leave my dangerous womb. But that was before we knew exactly what had caused Avery to die. And that was before Jude was on his way, doing so well, it's astonishing. I'm glad he will have the chance to grow the way he's supposed to, and not chance being born too soon where his eyesight, hearing, learning abilities, etc. may be compromised.

My blood pressure is still perfect, yesterday being 114/77. That's even lower than it's been. My doctor was extremely pleased. She thinks that because of my blood clotting mutations, the placenta with Avery didn't form properly. When she was born, the placenta has holes in it and just looked incredibly unhealthy. We think it formed with clots and that it even passed clots through Avery's cord, blocking blood and nutrient flow, ultimately taking her life. Because of the bad placenta, my doctor thinks my blood pressure was high, my body trying to compensate and work harder in place of the placenta. I was put on medication at 20 weeks to lower my blood pressure, but that didn't fix the placenta. So my doctor thinks that possibly, this new placenta has formed perfectly because I was on Lovenox when it was forming. That my blood pressure has stayed normal because my body is not compensating for anything else. And that is why Jude is doing so well. Because he had what Avery didn't. And there are no blood clots looming to threaten him. Of course this is all theory. We could never know for absolute sure that it's 100% true but based on all the physical evidence, it seems very likely. And it comforts me a lot to think that I may not even have to worry about Jude leaving us at all. That there is no threat to him like there unknowingly was for his precious sister.

My favorite part was at the end when we got to hear Jude's heartbeat. That sound could never get old. I love it so much. My doctor found it immediately which always puts me at ease. I don't like to be reminded of the day when multiple nurses used a doppler searching and searching for several minutes at a time to find Avery. And they never did. So it's nice when Jude is found immediately and I don't have to have those thoughts.

After we left, we were immediately off to my hematologist appointment. I had to get a finger prick so they could test my blood levels. I hate those. I'd rather get a needle in my arm... and I get a shot in my stomach everyday, but those finger pricks make me nervous! Turns out, my platelet levels are at 225 (they were 217 last time) which is still in the normal range of 100-400. When my doctor came in, he was very pleased with all of my levels. He said it all looks perfect. He was very happy and seemed so interested in my pregnancy and how Jude is doing so far. He wanted to know how my previous OB appointment went. He said I'll be put on Heparin in the last four weeks of my pregnancy, maybe even up to three times a day since Heparin doesn't stay in the body as long as Lovenox does. Three shots a day does not sound like a picnic but I don't care. I will do ANYTHING for Jude. I asked the doctor if we're doing everything we can with the shots to make sure all stays well. He believes, based on all the numbers, that the regimen we're following is good. And then I almost cried when he said, "You will be fine."

It's a beautiful when you feel convinced that your baby will survive. Most live without that thought even crossing their mind; it's a given for them. For moms like me, every milestone is cherished and every positive result brings tears. It's not typical. Right now I really feel like Jude will definitely be coming home with us and I like that feeling. I really hope it stays. I even feel physically pregnant this time and I am loving that. I never looked pregnant with Avery and I never got the chance to have the belly. It started weeks ago with Jude and I am feeling pretty big right now, even though I weigh 11 pounds less than I did at the end with Avery. I love feeling pregnant and I look forward to this belly getting even bigger. <3

Last night, Jude was moving around like crazy. It was the very first time that he's moved that much at once. It lasted for several minutes and I was loving it the entire time. I can't wait until I can feel him consistently. I am so in love with him and so grateful for him.

Thank You, God, for Jude's health and his continued growth and thriving. I just can't thank  You enough...