Torn

I ran into two different things today that made me question blogging altogether. I am actually torn over whether or not to continue doing so, despite the fact that it's been something I enjoy and something that has been very beneficial to me emotionally.

On Instagram, a mother of three, who is a gifted and inspiring author and blogger, was berated by a very rude person, who ridiculed her for giving her children no privacy and claimed that she was exploiting them and her life and was openly boycotting her. All of the mother's followers defended her and stuck by her side but the words were still said and I'm sure they bothered her to some degree. I don't think she has done anything wrong or has disrespected her children by sharing her life (with them included) on her popular blog. But someone else did. And reading her comment and the comments in response to it made me feel like I couldn't breathe. How would I be able to handle something like that if it was directed at me?! Where do you draw the line on over sharing anyway?

The second thing I happened to run into today was an article from a mom blogger who found that a photo of her children was taken from her blog and altered in a way that made it disturbingly vulgar. She warned readers of the creeps that linger online and reminded fellow bloggers to be extra careful. But how careful can you be?

I post many photos of Jude on my blog and of course there are a sacred few of Avery that are very sensitive in nature. Can these photos fall into the wrong hands? Is there anyone out there that can hurt us with our own photos? I don't post anything questionable, like nude bath photos so does that keep my blog safe? Does anyone even read it anyway? And if no one really reads it, what's the point of putting us out there for disgusting people to defile? I've had my concerns about this before. Maybe I was right in that all along.

There is a part of me that feels like I'm slowly cutting myself off from the world. I don't really have many friends anymore. It's been ten months since I have regularly used Facebook. My Instagram account is private and I am picky about who I allow to follow me. (So what makes my blog so different? Photos that are kept private on my Instagram are posted freely on this blog for anyone in the world to see.) I've always been creative and enjoyed expressing myself. If I stop doing that, what would happen? Nothing. Probably nothing. I think I would just miss it.

But I wouldn't miss the worrying. I wouldn't miss being nervous that I said too much or that I would insult someone who didn't understand my grief-induced ranting. I don't feel like I have made a difference with my writing and my sharing. I haven't helped anyone. So maybe all I'm doing is leaving the door open to any creep who could gawk at my family. It's sad that the world is so ugly. It's pathetic that these things are even an issue.

So I'm not sure what I will do in the future. If I do continue, I just may not share so many photos. I can always write offline where I know my words are safe. And so is my family.