Whatever it takes

I am currently 7 weeks and 2 days pregnant with this precious Rainbow Baby. I've already had three doctor appointments. On Thursday, I met with my hematologist. He told me that it's not the MTHFR that he's worried about, but my Factor II clotting mutation. He put me on daily shots of Lovenox to remedy that. Lovenox will target the clotting system in my body. That sounds pretty good to me. My next two appointments with him are already set up so he can monitor my blood.

I've been having Daniel give me my daily injections. I've only done it for five days so far, and let me tell you, I really hate it. I'm not a baby when it comes to pain. In fact, I believe I actually have a high tolerance. It's not even the needle going into my stomach, it's the medicine that stings so badly. I have a huge bruise on my stomach from the needles. I actually start getting nauseous right before it's time for my shot because I get so nervous about it. I'm surprised how much I dislike it, really. But... regardless of how much I hate the pain, I will do that and anything else I have to for this baby. I'd give a limb to save this baby's life. I am already in love with this little one. He or she is only the size of a raspberry, but I am already head over heels. I'll continue to do whatever I have to. Gladly.

Friday, I had my first actual OB appointment. My official due date is October 2, 2011. I was shocked to see that I was 2 pounds more on the 11th than I was on the 1st. With Avery, I stayed the same weight for a while, then I lost a pound, then the week of her death I had lost 3 more. I'm not the tiniest to begin with, but I didn't think losing weight more than halfway through my pregnancy was a good sign. I'd like to think that gaining 2 pounds already with baby #2 is a sign that things are going better this time. I have more of an appetite (when I'm not feeling nauseous) and my nausea even started a whole week earlier this time. Maybe that means this baby is thriving more and demanding more of me. That sounds good to me.

I feel like my caretakers are doing everything they can right now to prevent the same outcome with this baby. I really like being able to see their concern and their attention. I already have an appointment on the 25th to meet with a Perinatologist. My doctor's office set that up for me on their own. I'll also be getting ultrasounds once a month and I'll continue to go in for blood work.

Even though all is going well, I still have worries. Especially when I hear of others in my boat having miscarriages. It's so hard not to worry as I think about them and pray for them. But I just have to remember that worrying will not change anything. This is all in God's hands and all I have to do is take care of myself and love this baby. I'll do whatever it takes.